


Afterlife

by fanetjuh



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-09 00:11:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5518223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanetjuh/pseuds/fanetjuh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Death was not like Aiden had imagined and hell was probably even worse than he had already feared.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Afterlife

**Author's Note:**

> Written based on a prompt on my Teen Wolf Bingo card, received on tumblr

Death was not like Aiden had imagined.   
There had not been a light at the end of the tunnel. There had not been a God telling him that he had sinned way too often to get into heaven. There had not been a hell where he would burn for all the wrong things he had done.   
Death was nothing but blackness.   
From the moment he had closed his eyes, after he had said farewell to his brother, it was as if he had never opened them again. It was as if he was sleeping, but would never wake up again.  
It was even more terrifying than heaven or hell could have been.  
"They say that sometimes you only realize you miss something when it's really gone..."  
He was hallucinating. At least, he thought he was. All the darkness and the never ending night was forcing his brain to make up memories. To make up voices he would never hear again.   
"Maybe I did love Aiden a lot more than I thought." As if she would ever say that. She had been clear, about everything.   
He had been nothing but a distraction. He had been that hot boy that was allowed to get into her bed, but not into her heart.   
"And I will remember him for the rest of my life."  
He wished that she would stop talking. He wished that his brain would stop thinking. He wished that death would stop messing with his head and mind. He had loved her too much to be tortured with words she would never ever say.   
"Just like I will blame myself for not knowing that he would die."  
If he could have pressed his hands to his ears he would have done so. But he couldn't. He didn't have ears anymore, he didn't have hands anymore, he didn't have a body anymore. He wasn't sure what he was right now. Maybe he was nothing but air. Maybe he was nothing but his mind. Nothing but a bunch of thoughts, memories, feelings.  
"I'm a Banshee."  
He wanted to scream, but he didn't have a mouth to scream with. He didn't have a voice anymore. All he could do was think, but no matter how often he thought about wanting this madness to end, it didn't.   
"I keep on finding bodies, but I can never save them."   
Maybe this was hell. Maybe hell wasn't being burned alive, being licked by flames. Maybe hell was nothing but knowing that your mind was playing games with you and that it would never end, would never stop. Maybe hell was hearing her voice for the rest of his eternal death, hearing how she would say things he would have loved to hear when he was still alive. Maybe hell was knowing that none of this was real.   
"I couldn't save Allison and I couldn't save Aiden."  
If he would have had a heart, it would have been broken by now, into a thousand pieces, shattered over the floor. He didn't have a heart anymore.  
"I need someone to tell me how to stop this."  
He would have given a lot for being able to wrap his arms around her, for being able to press her to his chest, for being able to comfort her, for being able to kiss her worries away. He didn't have arms to touch her anymore. He didn't have lips to kiss her anymore.   
"I can't lose anyone else anymore."   
He still remembered what she looked like when she cried. He remembered the black lines of her make up on her cheeks. He remembered her trembling lips.   
"I'm not even sure if I can deal with the pain because of all the people I've lost already."  
He knew she could.  
Lydia didn't know how strong she was.   
He would have told her. He should have told her. If he would have known that death would come this soon, he would have told her everything. He would have told her how much he loved her, how brave she was, how smart she was, how beautiful she was. He would have whispered how much he admired her, how he believed in her, how he knew that one day she would realize that she had never needed a hero. He would assure her that she was the hero.   
She had been his hero. She had given him hope during his hopeless life.  
"They say that sometimes you only realize you miss something when it's really gone..."  
His personal hell was having her this close and not being able to do anything about her pain. He had deserved it. After everything he had done. To her. To everyone else.  
"Maybe I did love Aiden a lot more than I thought."  
And he had loved her a lot more than he had thought.   
It was hard to believe that it was possible, since he had always known that she was the love of his life. But it was true.  
He had loved her a lot more than he had thought.


End file.
